[NOTE: The above is NOT the title of a Ted Nugent album, but it certainly could be.]

On this day in history, America’s beloved Stars and Stripes were flown for the first time in battle, as British and Hessian troops under the command of General Cornwallis clashed with George Washington’s army at the Battle of Cooch’s Bridge (which flows over the scenic VaJayJay Creek).

Not Scary Enough!

The battle took place near Newark, Delaware, and is also notable because it was the only conflict of the American Revolution waged on Delaware soil, because even back then people were careful not to do anything that would associate the state with anything “interesting.”

General William Maxwell gave the order to raise the new American flag to both intimidate the enemy, and to get the rag-tag bunch of horny soldiers to finally lower their offensive “No Fat Wenches” party banner.

Sadly, despite the presence of the new American flag, Washington’s troops were defeated. Although two days later when the flag made it’s more-effective debut appearance on the “Conservative Pundit Lapel Pin,” the defeat was called a “strategic retreat.”